Identities
Orientations, attraction and relationship styles — explained.
Attraction isn't one thing. Many people find it helpful to separate sexual attraction (who you want to be sexual with) from romantic attraction (who you want to be close with romantically). This is sometimes called the split attraction model. For lots of people the two line up; for others they don't.
Labels are tools, not tests. You can use one, several, or none — and they can change over time. These guides explain what each term usually means so you can find words that fit, and talk about them with partners.
Sexual orientations
Who, if anyone, you feel sexual attraction toward.
Heterosexual (straight)
Heterosexual, or straight, describes being sexually attracted mainly or only to people of a different gender.
Gay
Gay describes being attracted mainly or only to people of the same gender; it's most often used by men but can be used by anyone.
Lesbian
Lesbian describes a woman, or non-binary person who relates to womanhood, who is attracted mainly or only to women.
Bisexual
Bisexual describes being attracted to more than one gender — not necessarily equally, at the same time, or in the same way.
Pansexual
Pansexual describes attraction to people regardless of their gender, where gender isn't a deciding factor.
Omnisexual
Omnisexual describes attraction to people of all genders, where gender is noticed and may shape the attraction.
Polysexual
Polysexual describes attraction to many, but not necessarily all, genders.
Queer
Queer is a broad, reclaimed umbrella term for sexualities and genders that aren't straight or cisgender.
Questioning
Questioning describes someone who is exploring or unsure about their sexual orientation or gender identity.
Asexual
Asexual describes experiencing little or no sexual attraction to others; it's a spectrum, not a single experience.
Graysexual (grey-ace)
Graysexual describes experiencing sexual attraction rarely, weakly, or only in specific circumstances.
Demisexual
Demisexual describes experiencing sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional bond with someone.
Romantic orientations
Who, if anyone, you feel romantic attraction toward — which can differ from sexual attraction.
Aromantic
Aromantic describes experiencing little or no romantic attraction.
Biromantic & panromantic
Biromantic means romantic attraction to more than one gender; panromantic means romantic attraction regardless of gender.
Demiromantic
Demiromantic describes experiencing romantic attraction only after a strong emotional bond has formed.
Heteroromantic & homoromantic
Heteroromantic means romantic attraction to a different gender; homoromantic means romantic attraction to the same gender.
Attraction-based terms
Words for what sparks attraction, or how it shows up.
Sapiosexual
Sapiosexual describes someone who experiences intelligence or intellectual connection as central to sexual attraction.
Autosexual
Autosexual describes experiencing sexual attraction toward oneself, sometimes primarily or exclusively.
Reciprosexual
Reciprosexual describes experiencing sexual attraction only after knowing that another person is sexually attracted to you.
Fraysexual
Fraysexual describes sexual attraction that tends to fade as emotional familiarity or closeness develops.
Abrosexual
Abrosexual describes a sexual orientation that changes or shifts over time.
Skoliosexual
Skoliosexual is a contested term some use for attraction to non-binary people or, in some definitions, trans people.
Akoisexual
Akoisexual describes sexual attraction that may fade when reciprocated, or attraction without wanting it reciprocated.
Gender identity (context)
Gender is separate from sexuality. These pages give context, not orientations.
Transgender
Transgender (trans) describes people whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth.
Non-binary
Non-binary describes a gender identity that isn't exclusively man or woman.
Cisgender
Cisgender (cis) describes people whose gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth.
Intersex
Intersex describes people born with natural variations in sex characteristics that don't fit typical definitions of male or female.
Two-Spirit
Two-Spirit is a pan-Indigenous term used by some Indigenous North American people for gender and sexual identities rooted in their cultures.
Relationship structures
How people shape relationships — monogamous or otherwise.
Monogamy
Monogamy is a relationship style where partners agree to be romantically and sexually exclusive with each other.
Ethical non-monogamy
Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is an umbrella for relationships where everyone knowingly agrees to more than one romantic or sexual connection.
Polyamory
Polyamory is having, or being open to, more than one loving relationship at a time, with everyone's knowledge and consent.
Relationship anarchy
Relationship anarchy is an approach where each relationship is shaped by the people in it, without default rules or hierarchies.
Open relationships
An open relationship is a committed partnership where partners agree they can have sexual connections with others.
Swinging
Swinging is when committed partners, usually a couple, consensually have sexual experiences with others, often together or at social events.