Lesbian

What it means

A lesbian is a woman attracted to women. Some non-binary people who feel connected to womanhood also use the word. Lesbian identity is often about community and culture as much as attraction.

Where the term comes from

The word comes from the Greek island of Lesbos, home of the poet Sappho, who wrote about love between women around 600 BCE. It came into common use in the late 1800s and was reclaimed by women's and gay liberation movements in the 20th century.

How it can look in real life

• A woman who has been with her wife for twenty years and calls herself a lesbian proudly.
• A younger woman who uses 'lesbian' and 'gay' interchangeably.
• A trans woman attracted to women who identifies as a lesbian.

These are examples, not requirements. People who use the same word can have very different histories, relationships and preferences — and nobody needs a particular amount of experience to know what fits.

Common myths

• Lesbians don't need STI testing or cervical screening — they do. STIs and HPV can pass between women.
• Sex between women isn't 'real' sex — sex is whatever partners consent to share.
• Every lesbian couple has a 'butch' and a 'femme' — those are identities some people enjoy, not a requirement.

Talking about it with a partner

Talk about what sex includes, testing, and how you'll share toys hygienically. Many couples find it useful to discuss how much of their relationship they're out about with family or at work.

It helps to talk about specifics — what closeness, touch, exclusivity and privacy mean to each of you — rather than expecting a label to answer those questions. Either person can decide something isn't right for them, and nobody owes intimacy to keep a relationship going.

Sexual-health notes

• Cervical screening is still needed — HPV can be passed through skin-to-skin contact and shared toys.
• Herpes, bacterial vaginosis, trichomoniasis and other infections can pass between women.
• Clean shared toys between uses or use a fresh condom on them; dental dams reduce risk for oral sex.
• Lesbian and bisexual women report being misinformed by clinicians more often — you're entitled to ask for accurate care.

Health advice should follow your body and the activities you actually do, not a label. A clinician can help with testing, vaccines and barriers — and you deserve care that doesn't judge.