Open relationships

What it means

Open relationships usually keep one romantic partnership central while allowing outside sexual (and sometimes dating) connections. Rules vary a lot: some couples share everything, others prefer 'don't ask, don't tell'.

Where the term comes from

The phrase was popularised by the 1972 book Open Marriage by Nena and George O'Neill.

How it can look in real life

• A couple who each have occasional casual partners.
• A couple who only play with others together.
• A couple who opened their relationship after one partner realised they're bisexual.

These are examples, not requirements. People who use the same word can have very different histories, relationships and preferences — and nobody needs a particular amount of experience to know what fits.

Common myths

• Opening up fixes a struggling relationship — it tends to amplify existing issues.
• Open means no rules.

Talking about it with a partner

Agree on who, where, how often, what you'll share, and how either person can pause things. Check in after early experiences.

It helps to talk about specifics — what closeness, touch, exclusivity and privacy mean to each of you — rather than expecting a label to answer those questions. Either person can decide something isn't right for them, and nobody owes intimacy to keep a relationship going.

Sexual-health notes

• Agree on safer-sex rules explicitly: who uses barriers, for what, and how often everyone tests. Share results honestly and update agreements when anything changes.
• Regular STI testing (often every 3–6 months for people with multiple partners) keeps everyone informed.

Health advice should follow your body and the activities you actually do, not a label. A clinician can help with testing, vaccines and barriers — and you deserve care that doesn't judge.